Love

As we go through this roller coaster that is life, we often find ourselves seeking the presence of another person. Following this desire, we start a quest to discover a person that matches our ideals and would be able to fit into our lives and us in theirs. Along our way, we find that we love many more people than we would have previously thought, but the love is not all the same.

Throughout our lives, love has been an interchangeable word that works for almost anything. We can discuss how much we "love" a restaurant we just discovered or a new outfit we just got. We then turn around and use the same language to express our care for another person. We have learned that love is the idea of fairy tales and does not happen between two people. Rather, we associate that feeling with objects or ideas, perhaps hoping that this will save us from the pain of unrequited love.  We have taught ourselves that the pain that comes from rejection is worse than the joy that comes from love. We forget that love is beautiful and precious. We fail to remember how wonderful it is to give love and how fulfilling it is to receive love from another. The desire to love is godly and as we learn to give it freely, we will begin to see and feel it everywhere we go.

"And remember, as it was written, to love another person is to see the face of God."
-Les Miserables

Gender is...

According to the Mirriam-Webster dictionary, gender is defined as "the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex".  We often hear about gender roles, masculine/feminine traits, and the many stereotypes that fall into each gender. Typically, gender roles are the traditional responsibilities assigned to each gender (i.e. men work and women raise children). Due to the traditionalism of these gender roles, there are certain personality traits that follow each gender. Men are said to be tough, independent, protective, and have the responsibility to be hard-working. On the other hand, women are kind, gentle, nurturing, soft, and, therefore, should be the primary caregiver to their children.

These “roles” that we have assigned to each sex and labeled as “gender” can have detrimental effects on a child. Take, for instance, a young girl playing in the mud with her brother. As children will do, she throws some at her brother and is quickly scolded because throwing mud is not “lady-like”. However, the same experience, when shared between two young boys, is encouraged. Males are taught that rowdiness is okay and we condition their poor behavior simply because “boys will be boys”. An article* regarding the effects of stereotyping gender roles lists possible, negative outcomes including violence and suppression of emotion in males and excessive dieting, self-esteem issues, and avoidance of sports or difficult athletics for females. Genders are an important part of who we are as humans, but it is our responsibility to ensure that as we rear our children, we teach them in both sides of the spectrum and avoid shoving them into stereotypical behaviors that can cripple their abilities in the future.

Proverbs 22: 6

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

*Link to Article: http://www.care2.com/causes/8-ways-gender-roles-actually-harm-our-kids.html

Realizing My Role

As a LDS woman, I often feel pushed to get married and have children. This has caused many personal issues for me because I view life and my role as a woman differently than many others do. When a person mentions the "traditional" role of a woman, what comes to mind? Perhaps cooking, cleaning, caring for children, etc. While I believe that all of these have their place in a family, I also recognize that my Father in Heaven wants more from me. I do not believe that what I will do in the future will be better than what anyone else will do; it is simply different. God directed my path in many different directions before finally leading me to college and now that I am here, I know that He wants me studying for a reason. I have a purpose in this life other than simply being a mother and that is to help other families that have not had the same happiness that I have been blessed with. 

While I know that my degree is essential to my future, I also hold dear the idea of being a mother. Over the years, I have been able to learn how different LDS couples view children and the idea of family. Many of the couple I know simply leave it up to the Lord and allow Him to guide their path. Others feel that if they are not constantly trying, or searching, for additional children, then they are failing. That is not the way to do family. The Lord has a plan and as we continue to trust in Him, He will allow us to see and understand more of it. I was able to participate in a discussion regarding the amount of children that a couple should have and I was sorely disappointed in some of the ideas that were presented. There are many aspects that go into the decision to have children, and it is not a small decision. It is also a decision that is between the Lord and the couple. Many of the people in this discussion were worried that if they did not keep trying for children then any unborn spirit children would, essentially, be damned due to that decision. I understand their concern but we must remember that His plan is mightier than any of us will ever be. The Lord will not put anyone where they were not meant to be. Trust the Lord. Trust your promptings. Respect your decision. 

Alma 39:17

"And now I will ease your mind somewhat on this subject. Behold, you marvel why these things should be known so long beforehand. Behold, I say unto you, is not a soul at this time as precious unto God as a soul will be at the time of his coming?"

Introduction

I am a strong, independent LDS woman leaving my mark on this world. I believe in agency, forgiveness, the joys of life, and the endless blessing of love.